Saturday, June 14, 2014

When it hits me...

DD2 completed elementary school recently. In our district they finish in 5th grade – and go on to middle school for grades 6 thru 8.

About a month before DD2 finished, a thought hit me…
“She missed it. She missed all of it.”

In the Spring of 2008 my mom died. April 27th.  Her funeral was that Wednesday. And that Friday, May 2nd, was Kindergarten Orientation.

My baby’s entire elementary school experience happened without her here. From not being able to discuss her first day of school hair bows, to not laughing about school performances, to phone calls from DD2 to her Ammie about incredible happenings, to my needing to ask her advice about teachers… all of it. Without her.

An entire chapter in my daughter’s life has passed since my mom had to go away. Every chapter after will occur without her Ammie here to share…so much has happened within our family during DD2’s elementary school years. It simply doesn’t seem possible that so much has taken place since she has been gone.

My friend, Mrs. Nielson, was so right when she told me, “It never hurts less. It does hurt less often.” Even though our lives did return to normal after she died - and we don't perhaps feel her missing so constantly -  sometimes? “It” hits me like a truck.