Wordless Wednesday: Last in my Halloween Series

(even carved in to a pumpkin he makes me swoon!)

Memory Lane

This is a picture from July 2003. DD2 with her very first ice cream cone. It was actually MY ice cream cone, but - at the urging of my oldest sister and my mom (peer pressure)- I gave DD2 a little taste. That was the end of it... she screeched like a howler monkey until I let her have it, and every time I tried to take it out of her hand she screeched even louder than the time before. (I had to keep taking it from her, as it was chocolate chip ice cream - and while I did give her the ice cream, I was not giving in to the chocolate chips - so I had to keep picking them out.) DD2 was absolutely in love with this new found deliciousness, as a 8 months old she had never, ever tasted anything like it. (She didn't start on baby food until two months earlier, and she was still nursing at this point.)

My oldest daughter? I think her first taste of anything like that was at her first birthday, and then certainly not her own cone for goodness sake!

It pays to be the second child.

The only reason I'll be sad on Election Day

This was on their Thursday Prime Time show... God I'm going to miss these! Cross your fingers there is another one tonight.

Wordless Wednesday

Today was my big day in court...

(If you need the backstory as to why I was in court today, click here)

OK, so did you know that if you are convicted of driving on a suspended licence in Colorado that there is a mandatory 5 day jail sentence? The good news? I wasn't convicted of that charge. Heck, turns out I wasn't even charged with that charge.

The first thing the DA said to me today was, "I really hope you got your license renewed?"

My reply, "Why, Yes! I did just that, and I didn't drive even once after I knew it had been suspended - probably two of the longest weeks of my life. I even brought my learners permit along with my new license, in case you needed to see it." (At this point you should know that the DA was most likely putting up with my chattiness because DD2 was there with me, looking EVER so cute in her outfit with her matching hair bows.)

DA, "Good, because you took care of that immediately I'm going to cut you a really good deal today, because we don't want to take any chances that you would lose your license again over what happens here today."

Me (Thankful we remembered the MATCHING hair bows for DD2's outfit, as I'm positive they are making me look like never-break-the-law-suburban-wonder-bread-mother-of-the-year at this point - not kidding when I tell you that easily 5/6ths of the people there in court today were teen aged thugs with bad attitudes, whose idea of 'dressing for court' was making sure their gang tattoos were covered), "Thank you so very much."

DA, "So, let's make sure you don't have any points today... would you plead guilty to 'Allowing a person with an invalid licence drive a vehicle' as it is a no point violation?"

Me, "I'd be willing to plead guilty to that charge."

DA, "I'm going to ask the judge for the maximum fine on this charge."

Me, "Is that a lot?"

DA, "It is a $100 fine."

Me (KA-CHING! BARGAIN! I was afraid he'd say like $500 or something insane like that.) "I'd be more than willing to pay the maximum find in this case."

DA, "All you need to do after you sign this paperwork is see the judge in her courtroom, finalize the new charge, enter a plea of guilty, pay the court clerk, and you're done with this matter. Any questions?"

Me, "No, sir."

DD2 and I make our way to the other side of the building to the courtroom. I follow a 28 year old guy pleading his DUI, and getting his lecture from her honor, the Judge. After that? Judge is all smiles for me and my cute little girl - who behaved like an angel the entire time this morning. $137 later (including court costs) we were on our way back to suburban bliss.

Did I walk away from this experience having learned anything? Yes! Always remember to take one of your darling children (the younger, the better) to court with you, making sure to dress them on an outfit that says, "This child is very well loved, taken care of, and isn't she/he oh-so-precious?" It seems to make the process go much more smoothly than I would have ever thought possible.

(Oh, right... and I suppose you could pay your tickets in a timely manner- - thereby forgoing this whole mess in the first place.)

THIS was really funny....

I was watching the speeches from the Alfred E. Smith dinner on TV last night, and both our presidential candidates made me laugh really hard... darling husband was like, "Just go to sleep already."

I have to appreciate good comic timing - and John does have a leg up over Obama on that one. You should watch the videos of both candidates. It's nice to see them just being funny guys for a change.

McCain at Alfred E. Smith Dinner (Part 1)
McCain at Alfred E. Smith Dinner (Part 2)

Obama at Alfred E. Smith Dinner

Why is my child NOT going to the University of New Mexico?

You mean other than the fact that it's in New Mexico?

Have you ever heard about the Ig Nobel Prizes given out each year. They are sort of the opposite of the Nobel Prize... awarded for discoveries that cannot or should not be reproduced. Who won in the 2008 Economics category, you might ask? The 2008 Ig Nobel prize in Economics was awarded to Geoffrey Miller, Joshua Tyber, and Brent Jordan, for discovering that exotic dancers earn more when at peak fertility.

Huh?

Who the hell decided that this was a necessary study? Why on earth would that even occur to anyone? I have a hard time understanding why scientists need to find out if there was ever water on Mars - so you can imagine how far my jaw dropped when I saw that this was an ACTUAL study done by the University of New Mexico. There is a blurb stating, "Brent D. Jordan's contribution to this project was supported by a McNair/ROP Scholars Program Fellowship." So money was actually spent on this bullshit study. Someone (I'm assuming at the McNair / ROP Scholars Program Fellowship) had to actually sign off on this study, acknowledging that this was information that could make a difference. Can't you picture Brent Jordan's grandmother asking him, "So, what are you studying this semester?" "Well grandma, I'm studying human estrus in the setting of a gentleman's club atmosphere and whether it is beneficial economically to perform on stage more at certain times than others." Meanwhile, Grandpa is elbowing Brent's dad with a smile on his face that clearly indicates, "THAT'S MY BOY."

Do you suppose this all started out as some sort of pledge prank, and just got outta hand? Or, is this the kind of thing state schools are supporting? Has the generation, who's motto seems to be "Be Open", getting out of hand? Am I, at 43 years old, just too old to understand?

All of the sudden I'm not so up in arms over the Mars Rover project. Imagine that.

Wordless Wednesday

How to play cards with a quirky kid...

Last Wednesday...

*****

DD2: "Mom? Play cards with me?"

Me: "OK. What are we playing?"

(See, this is where she trips me up, because she has the Care Bear Uno cards in her hand, and I LOVE Uno.)

DD2: "Go Fish"

Me: ??? "All righty."

DD2: "But I get all the Love a Lot Bear cards."

Me: "...and..."

DD2: "Then if you get cards together you put them back in the box and take a jewel. Whoever has the most jewels is the winner."

Me: "This sounds hard, do you just want to play Uno?"

DD2: "There's no jewels in Uno."

Know what? She's right. There are no jewels in Uno. Sometime it is just that simple.

First Frost

I love autumn. I was outside last night, and the air smelled incredible. It was chilly and crisp, and someone in the neighborhood had a fire burning in their fireplace. I stood in the front yard and inhaled deeply - the leaves are turning... what a wonderful feeling.

When we woke up this morning there was frost on the cars and my good cozy, crisp, "fallish" feeling comes screeching to a halt.

This can only mean one thing:

SNOW is right around the corner.

So? Whats a little snow? Please let me remind you what "a little snow" is here in Denver...

In 2003, it was this:

In 2005, it was this - 3 years later and our trees are just now starting to look almost normal again:

and in the winter of 2006/2007 is was many of these, several weekends in a row:

Get your gloves, hats, snowblowers, and snowman making kits ready - HERE IT COMES!

You know, I HATE to brag...

(In truth? I LOVE to brag)

... but my NEPHEW (a freshman at UNR) wrote a story that got picked up by CBSNews.com. (Obviously, I will be pointing this out to my own daughters many, many times over as they grow up.)

You can see it HERE, or you can go to Jay's blog and click on it from there - because his reaction is so perfect you should see it.

WAY TO GO, JAY!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, how cool it that?

I think it's weird

When I look through where people have been on my blog, I found out that THIS entry is hit once almost every day. Really? What on earth are people googling that is leading them to read about "If Frank Lloyd Wright were a hornet he'd be living on my porch"? And it's not just locals, it's international people - who don't know me from Adam... and most likely have very little interest in my goings-on.

I have to admit, I'm curious. Does stuff like that ever happen to you?

Check out Google today..

Google is having it's 10 year anniversary (Yes, it's true... it's been 10 YEARS already that Google has been around) they have a special place you can click to see their oldest search archives. (They only go back to 2001)

I typed in Ipod, and it took me to THIS SITE HERE. It seems that on November 10th, Ipod will have it's 7th anniversary. The amazing ipod was 5 gb, could store "up to 130" cd's worth of songs... and he screen was type only in b/w. Wow, how things have changed! (Look how big it was!)

I typed in "Cell Phones" and learned that Palm Inc., and Motorola were going to begin working on a project together called a "PDA Cell Phone." (Which is weird, because I thought that the PDA and Cell technology merged before that... I guess 7 years is longer than I thought!) Also, Sega was going to begin developing games for cell phones, and this:
was state of the art cell phone technology.

E-books were going to be the "way of the future", and there was talk of old fashioned books becoming obsolete. (Which still could happen, but e-books didn't take off like they thought it would.)

Go ahead - search. It's kind of a riot how much things have changed.

Project Runway bunts...

See, this is where I'm supposed to publish my recap of Project Runway... but I'm so annoyed that I just don't think I'm going to do that this week.

Because?

This episode never really happened. Nothing was accomplished. Had they auffed Kenley last week like they should have, they could have auffed Suede this week (because you know his dress would have been worse than Korto's) and we would have had the correct 3 designers showing at fashion week. BUT, since they kept Kenley they had to pull something out of their asses quickly - because by all rights Korto should have been auffed this week for that ugly yellow gown. Of course, NOBODY would have watched the finale if Kenley had beat Korto, as we all would have been angry with the judges for letting that BITCH get a free ride in the musical challenge... and since we've all already seen the finished collections all we would have needed to do was log on to Blogging Project Runway to see the final results.

In the olden days, the days of Season One, the judges put themselves in this sort of a bind also, but at least went through with picking a final three when it was time to pick a final three. None of this "the second to last show had no bearing on the final" crap. They made a HUGE mistake not auffing Wendy Pepper when they should have, and then had to auf Austin Scarlet right before the fashion week. OOPS! At least they had the balls to go through with it, even though it should have been Kara Saun, Jay McCarroll, and AUSTIN SCARLET - not Kara Saun, Jay, and WENDY PEPPER. I still harbor resentment for Nancy O'Dell.

So, I may or may not recap for the next two episodes. I generally like the episode where Tim visits the contestants, but I'm very upset how this is all shaking out. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Perhaps this is the real reason why JLo didn't show?

Attention mothers of girl children:

Ever wonder what to do with all those damn darling "My Little Pony" dolls when the kids grew too old to play with them? Don't have a garage sale - take some inspiration from THIS instead! It's kind of genius!

Wordless Wednesday: It's that time of year!

I'm confused

So, DD1's teacher just called. She said she was calling to tell me that everything was fine, that DD1 is doing great, and that she loves having her in class this year. (I'm thinking, "Wow, how nice that she called just to tell me how much she likes my daughter!")

But then she told me that there was an "incident" last week where DD1 was crying because one of the other girls in class wouldn't play with her at recess, and they had been trying to work on it. (DD1 never even mentioned it, and she usually tells me when she's had a tough day and what caused it. Not in great detail, but I usually get something.) Teacher also mentioned that DD1 was very bright, and sometimes along with that there is great sensitivity.

Why am I expecting to be contacted by the school psychologist next?

Again, it's brilliant!

This is so funny. Tina Fey is a genius.

Project Runway: The Muzak of Fashion

Previously on project runway… It’s the get a job challenge… and Joe loses again. Just like what really happened when I watched it last week. No matter how many times I watch that episode, that outfit never seems to work for him.

We begin this episode with the neurosis in the apartment shots: Suede thinks Suede is in trouble, Leanne thinks it would be fun to have all girls – but that Jerrell is probably going to make it… you know.

This week, during model selection, Kenley takes Joe’s old model (because Topacio is fun to say), and Leanne turns in to the competitive bitch we all knew was inside that mousy little white girl. She steals Suede’s model! Suede is angry. There were three unpaid models sent home this week.

This week’s challenge? To design a look for each other.
Suede designs for Jerrell. Which, unless he goes for something Scottish, will involve PANTS. Suede? Does not do pants. Uh-oh. I’d love to see him try to talk Jerrell into a purple Pucci-esque frock!!
Kenley designs for Leanne. Wonder how Leanne will look as Rosie The Riveter?
Korto designs for Suede. She’ll do great.
Jerrell designs for Kenley. He’ll make her look fabulous.
Leanne designs for Korto. This might be interesting!

Twist! The look has to be inspired by a specific musical genre. Explore the connection of music to fashion.

Kenley’s genre is Pop. Not big band?
Suede’s genre is punk. Korto got the right guy for this one. I actually think I would like to be her right now – she could totally win this. Punk? Slam Dunk.
Korto is Country. HAHAHAHA
Leanne is Hip Hop. BWAAA HAHAHA.
Jerrell is Rock and Roll. That so fits.

Hour to meet. $150 to spend at Mood, and until 1am to finish.

Kenley is going to make high-wasted jeans for hip hop? What?

Suede is NOT going to do an 80’s rock look? Why not. What the hell does he think he is going to look like himself? Punk is 80’s. He should go CRAZY with the rock and roll. Korto is OVER Kenley. And? I cannot wait to see Korto country!

Off to Mood, and Tim hates Kenley’s print. Kenley? Is a bitch to Tim. How does he not hit her?

THANK YOU, Mood!!!!

Back at the workroom, 12 hours left in the day.
Leanne is going to make Korto look like she’s presenting at the CMA’s… and for Leanne’s hip hop look Kenley is doing a leather jacket and high waist pants. She doesn’t like to make pants… does she not get that she shouldn’t do either of those? For Gods sake, girl… I have one word for you. HOODIE. So Hip Hop. What idiot doesn’t immediately picture a hoodie when thinking of HipHopGirl? Put it with a little low rise denim mini, crazy shoes… you know… hip hop. But for Gods sake, Kenley… don’t put her in high waist pants. You’ll be laughed off the runway.

Jerrell would love to three-pete. Don’t blame him. He’s actually going to make Kenley look very cute, she is a cute girl.

Suede is a classically trained cellist? I would have never guessed that.

Korto has just invoked the name of Jesus for the win!! You go girl!

Suede has never done rock before… but when he worked at Jordache he dressed Xtina, Britney, Destiny’s Child… so “this shouldn’t be such a far stretch.” Right. Because Jerrell clearly has a vagina.

Korto is now sporting cowboy boots. She’s so funny. I had no idea she had a personality. I wish she laughed more.

Kenley is going to try on the pop garment. Hey, she look good.

4 Hours To End of Day, and in comes TIM! Again this week, I’m not going to focus on what Tim actually says. I’m going to focus on what I think Tim wants to say:

“Jerrell? I’d actually like to see YOU in this pop-star outfit. How about you sneak up to my place later on? Because I think I could help you figure out how to insert MORE in to this outfit.”

“Leanne? Nobody is going to fall for this. You need to put sequined musical notes up the side of that sarong, slap her on the ass, and call her Dolly.”

“Korto! Why hold back? It’s Suede, put it on him and rip it off for authenticity. The man talks about himself in the third person – annihilate him!”

“Sooo, how’s Suede? My furrowed brow should tell you that you should make Jerrell look sexier than that. He is a sexy, sexy man. Show us his paramount sexy body.”

“Hi Kenley. Pretend you’re a designer and talk me through your design. I’m not getting the whole fitted thing… and where, for the love of God, is the hoodie? You know you’ll lose without the hoodie. Furthermore, discontinue talking down to me you pretentious little bitch. I have lint on my bathroom rug with more style than your garments, and you DARE to take that tone with me? I’m ready to throw you off a precipitous cliff. That’s all.”

EVERYONE is listening in as Tim takes Kenley down. LOVING IT!

(Tim’s visit is always my favorite part of the show!)

Wow! Kenley is in LOVE with those pants on Leanne, but do those pants look a bit ill-fitting? Korto is precious when she’s talking about Kenley! She and Jerrell are really a lot of fun tonight. The look on their faces as they assure Kenley that she is headed in the right direction for hip hop! I especially love that Korto is upping the ante with chemical warfare by using bleach fumes to throw off the game of the other designers. Brilliant!

The next morning? Suede and Kenley are very confidant, which I’m guessing will prove to be their kiss of death. Maybe they’ll both get kicked out?

So, the designers are finishing up their costumes outfits when Tim announces they have one hour to get all done up and ready to strut. “Thanks (for nothing), Tim” they all mutter. Kenley makes a statement about some bunching in the crotch, but that she didn’t think the judges would notice. BWAAHAHAHAH! The judges live for that kind of shit, they love to call out a bad crotch on the runway, hasn’t she noticed that before? Girl is sunk! Jerrell, who Kenley is relying on for hip hop advice (obviously because he’s black) is cracking me up. He’s messing with her something fierce and she totally isn’t getting it. I still cannot believe she didn’t make a hoodie. They all look great made up, except for Leanne. What’s with the horizontal bangs? Is that supposed to look like some sort of hair visor?

RUNWAY!!
Oh Holy Mother of God, LL Cool J is the guest judge!!!! Ha Ha Ha Kenley! You might as well pack now.

Leanne: sends Korto down the runway in pink satin, black skirt, and gold accents. Actually looks OK. Not great, but it is country. The skirt is a touch long.

Jerrell: sends Kenley down the runway as Kenley Spears. He did a great job, that outfit is perfect for a pop star.

Kenley: sends Leanne down the runway as… well… as some sort of badly dressed freak. There is still no hoodie, and no possible win for Kenley. Wow, that is bad. (Kenley also said that Leanne looks like a big, fat poseur. What did she expect? Leanne is Wonder Bread at it’s finest, she cannot do black girl attitude. Never.Gonna.Happen.)

Korto: sends Suede down the runway and he looks so dead on Punk! Oh holy cow, he’s faultless. Flawlessly resembling the guys I hated in high school. Korto rocks this one completely. Suede played it up so well.

Suede: sends Jerrell down the runway as a very cool rock guy. Somewhat calm for rock standards, could have dirtied it up or glammed it up… but it’s there. Jerrell does look like rock.


Time for the snarky massacre judging!

(Kenley just realized that she is screwed.)

Korto:
They love this. LL thinks it has energy. Nina thinks the pants are fab. Michael actually likes the design and fit in general.

Suede:
Michael thinks the vest is cool, but pants are expected. LL doesn’t think it is accessorized properly, Nina thinks it needs more drama, Heidi thinks Jerrell looks like he wore his own clothes.

Jerrell:
Nina, thinks it is great. Loves it! Heidi questions not having a bra, although LL seems to like this aspect of the outfit. He also likes the amount of skin showing. Michael likes it.

Kenley:
Heidi asks (in a horrified voice) “What happened to the pants?” “Those are probably the most unflattering pants I have ever seen in my life.” (And she thought they wouldn’t notice!) LL hates the jeans and that it’s not hip hop. Kenley fights back, and Nina diplomatically steps in, which I have never seen her do before. Go Nina. Michael thinks it is garish. (Is no one going to mention the lack of a hoodie?)

Leanne:
Nina thinks it doesn’t go far enough. Heidi thinks the skirt makes Korto look very nice. LL doesn’t think he’d notice this was Country if he didn’t see the boots (LL is wrong, btw), and Michael thinks she could have pushed it a little farther without being trite.

WINNER: KORTO! I love that she won.

Auffed: Suede? Are you kidding me? It wasn’t a great garment – but the wrong choice this week. I don’t like Suede's designs any more than any of you – and he doesn’t deserve to go to Bryant Park… but Kenley was the loser this week. By far. She got the judges to feel sorry for her somehow. That was a pity save. For the record, Kenley? THIS is hip hop:

It's like Gary Trudeau lives in my house...

What a great idea!

I saw this on Vern's blog - and think it's a fabulous idea. If you have any funny blog entries you should forward them to see if you can help out!

The idea is from "Navel Gazing at it's Finest", and it's called The Blog Book. The hope is to raise money for the Nielson family. Here is the story:
On Saturday, August 16, 2008, Stephanie Nielson
was in a plane crash with her husband,
Christian Nielson, and his flight instructor,
Doug Kinneard, near St. Johns, Arizona. Doug Kinneard
passed away soon after arriving at the
Maricopa County Hospital.

Christian & Stephanie remain in critical condition at
Maricopa Burn Center. Christian has sustained
burns on over 30% of his body. His wife Stephanie’s
body was burned over 80%.

Christian and Stephanie have 4 small children, and I think it is absolutely amazing that so many people are reaching out to help them. Please join in. You can read more about NieNie Recovery Here.

I do miss her so much!

Next week it will be 5 months since mom died.

I can’t say it is “easier” now. The sadness is there, perhaps even more prevalent now that the shock has subsided. But it doesn’t slam me from out of nowhere nearly as often. I still cry, but not every day. I’m overly tired and not sleeping peacefully through the night most nights, but at least her dying isn’t usually the very first thought when I open my eyes in the morning. Having to get the kids ready for school helps with that aspect.

Things are continuing to hit me harder than they normally would; I feel zapped emotionally and don’t deal with stressful situations well. Even things like paying the bills or dealing with paperwork can be daunting and overly stressful. Instead of taking care of these sorts of necessities I tend to avoid things that can feel complicated. Some days I don’t answer the phone. I suppose I don’t have enough emotional energy “banked” these days, and the sadness can be quite draining.

Am I depressed? Probably. But appropriately so considering the time it’s been. I know that I will always be sad that my mom has died. Always. In 25 years it will still hit me once in a while. I accept that. I know that eventually I will have to define a new normal and not let my grief be center stage whenever it wants, and there have been a few weeks where I have actually dealt with life pretty well. Getting some of the housework done, getting the bills paid – but most of the time, when a wave comes and the sadness washes over me, I still let it take me where it will. I just let it. I’m not willing to control that yet.

DD2 will be going to Disneyland with my sister next Wednesday. Mom died four days after DD1 went to Disneyland with my sister last spring. I guess I’m still thinking in terms of “before” and “after”, but it’s only been five months.

I find myself reminding myself often that it’s only been five months.

This kid is going to change the world!

I think this is amazing - that someone so young will impact the world forever. You have to read this... hopefully this is the dawn of a new era.

Changing the World

A new take on mom saying, "Get a JOB!"

We open saying farewell to Terri and Blayne again. FAREWELL. Blayne can go tan and Terri can go do whatever it is Terri does that might bring happiness back in to her life. Bitter much, honey?


Shot of the apartments in the morning. Suede has "low flow" hair.* Leanne cracks a joke about making evening gowns for infants, and Kenley truly does not get why she didn't win with the hideous fabric topiary last week. Really, Kenley?


We all meet again in the runway room, and here comes Heidi! And... Here come the Moms! Jerrell makes a comment about "Clearly these are mothers, but I don't think they're Korto's or mine..." Is that profiling? Is that really where we want to go?


And... out walk the daughters. Apparently these daughters have recently graduated college, moving back home in the process. These moms want their daughters to get a JOB so they can move out of the house. They're not saying it, but I know what is going on. (Hey! Isn't that one mom, Nancy, the mom from Hairspray? The one John Travolta tried to play?)


The designers get 30 minutes to conference with mother and daughter, and $100 to spend at Mood. Joe is going on about how you can't please both the mother and the daughter at the same time, showing how he has never really understood mothers and perhaps will need therapy after he is kicked off of the show. Which I predict will be this week, because either he or Suede need to go soon. Kenley's girl LOVES vintage, and reminds Kenley of Kenley. We can now just call her Kenley Jr. Right out of the gate Jerrell "gets" his girl. It is looking good for both Kenley and Jerrell, but I'm pulling for Jerrell. Leanne gets a teacher. Her mom has a lot of opinions, but should trust Leanne. Mousy is as mousy does, after all. Suede gets a daughter that is a photographer. She needs pants. (I will vouch for this.... you do have to get in some less than flattering positions to get the shot sometimes. She's right, you need pants.) Joe is designing for a girl who will be interviewing for graphic design positions. (Which means she'll end up being a receptionist somewhere for at least two years). He is thinking skirt suit. He is boring.


Off to Mood! Korto picked leather? Joe picks menswear fabric. Suede's print is really pretty cute. Thank you Mood!


Wow, seems like we just got back to the workroom and it's time for the first fitting.


Jerrell's girl seems happy with his ideas. Suede's girl thinks it will be too professional. Joe's girl doesn't like the pinstripe fabric - but her mother loves it. Korto's "mom" doesn't understand the fabric that Korto has chosen. Kenley is nasally voicing her approval of Kenley Jr.'s new outfit. Leanne's duo don't like the outfit at all. Leanne is dismayed, "One sexy teacher dress coming up!"


Suede has now switched gears and is going to do a dress, as it is easier. Bet he'd give his right testicle for Terri's pants pattern right now. Joe is going ultra conservative, which causes Jerrell to mock him mercilessly. "Come on, Joe. You can work on Nancy Reagan tomorrow!"


Early on day two Tim sends in clients for their second fitting. Sans mothers, which pleases all. Joe thinks his client is getting more excited about the outfit - but I know the look on her face. It's not excitement, it's the face you get on Christmas morning as you say loudly, "Are these SOCKS in my stocking???" Not excitement.


OK, lets talk about Suede. That dress is cute - however, that dress is not practical for a photographer. That dress is practical if you are going to be meeting someone from Match.com, but unless she's planning on standing still during the entire photo shoot that dress isn't gonna work.


At this point Tim brings in Jeanie from corporate hair and makeup, who will be helping with the total makeover portion of the challenge. Winning look gets a paragraph in Elle magazine.


Tim's Visit! This week I'm going to write what I think Tim wants to say, rather than what he actually says.
"Suede, your pockets are crooked, and does your model have arm deformities we don't know about?"

"Joe? Unless the legal team of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe is looking to hire a graphic designer you are hopelessly off the mark."

"Hi Jerrell. Wanna have dinner?"

"Oh Kenley... that dress again? How about you lose the underskirt this time?"

Joe phones home. This may be a bit of Bravo foreshadowing, remember when the straight guy on Shear Genius waxed on and on about how much he loved and missed his wife? Then he went home that episode? Hmmmmm?

When they get back to the apartments that night the girls verbally stab Suede in the back with dull kitchen knives. Loving it.

Day of the show arrives, and they have one hour to get their girls through hair and makeup, plus get them dressed. An hour? For color, cut, style, makeup, and fitting? Who are they kidding? Unless they're going down the runway in foils it ain't gonna happen. Through the magic of television, though, it only seems to take 5 minutes. It's a miracle! Leanne's dress looks WAY better without a jacket, Suede's jacket is dated, and did Kenley give Jr. a head pet??

Guest judge is Cynthia Rowley!! Love her on Design Star!

WHAT is THAT on Jerrell's head? A feather beret? WTF?

Runway!!

Joe: OMG! He even flipped the collar. BWAHAHAHAHA! Does that jacket look too small?

Leanne: Take the jacket off! Take the stupid, frumpy jacket off! Why doesn't she take that damn jacket off????

Jerrell: Darling! Wish the skirt was a touch longer. Plus? How cute would this be with boots!

Korto: I like it, I don't love it.

Suede: And she could not get the jacket off quickly enough! She was throwing it off on her first step down the runway.

Kenley: It's cute, but I am not feeling the vest. And? Yes! It's a head pet on Jr.!

The judges aren't so brutal this week...

Kenley: Heidi remarks on mini-me, Nina thinks it's cute, Cynthia likes the belt, Michael again remarks about it being the right clothes and the right style and the right girl.

Joe: Cynthia dogs on the suit idea. (Kenley also laughs at Joe on stage. God, she can be a bitch, right?) Nina and Michael think this outfit is a cliche. Nina and Michael are correct.

Korto: Michael said she looks current, Cynthia thinks the jacket is really cool, and Nina loves this whole ensemble.

Leanne: Nina thinks the dress is more charming without the jacket, Michael wants to see more of her cute body (???), and I can't tell if the judges like this look or not.

Jerrell: Heidi loves this look, Cynthia thinks this looks great, as does Nina.

Suede: Cynthia mocks gratuitous jacket idea, Michael thinks he missed the mark, and Nina HAAAAAATES it.

The winner? Jerrell!!

Auffed: Joe. (I knew it!!! BuhBye Big Joe!!!)

*10 points if you catch the reference.

Wordless Wednesday

goings on...

Have a few small things to blog about...

Darling Niece has pledged the world's best sorority. Yea!!!! Welcome to all things Pink and Green, Sister!

Darling Daughter 2 had a visit to the dentist today. Good news? She sat still for x-rays for the first time ever - usually it doesn't "happen." Bad news? On those said x-rays you can clearly see her very first cavity. Oh! My poor, darling baby.

Oh, and sixteen year old Miley Cyrus has a new boyfriend. He's 20. TWENTY. Way to rein her in, Billy Ray. Way to make sure she doesn't follow the predictable child star path. As a parent of two children who are HUGE Disney fans, I must thank you for your continued strong parenting that will most likely land her in rehab before her 20th birthday. This picture is of them leaving church on Sunday. Dressed like that. At church. I'm sure they're not having sex yet, right? Because that? Would be illegal. Right?

Did you see this?

Funniest thing ever!

They’re baaaaacckkkk! And they're helping!

(For my recap on last week's episode, click here. I missed the cut-off for recapalooza... and last week frankly was a better episode to blog about.)

Did you love the faces of horror as they saw who the special guests were? They will base their designs on the astrological sign of one of the designers, and must create an avant-garde outfit. The budget is $250.

The teams are as follows:
Korto / Kelli
Kenley / Wesley
Joe / Daniel
Leanne / Emily
Blayne / Stella
Terri / Keith
Terrell / Jennifer
Suede / Jerry

(Note: Aquarius is by far the best as it is my sign. Water, blue, silver, what’s not to love?)

Terri and Keith are like oil and vinegar already, and they aren’t 30 minutes in to the partnership.

Scurry to buy fabric and… Thank You Mood!

(I love it when they get back to the workroom and they’re all like, “Ok, what do we do now?” Sure, now that you have the fabric, and can’t buy anything else… lets figure it out now.)



Terri just doesn’t know what to do – I know what she’ll do. Pants. And possibly a jacket. Man, those two hate each other. Keith, “Careful, I’m fragile right now.” What? Who the eff admits they are a complete, frightened pansy on television?

Leanne and Emily are the popular girls in the lunchroom, rolling their eyes at the quirky, loud Kenley. Kenley totally gets that she is odd girl out.

Tim’s visit!
Tim, again, does not at all get what Blayne is doing. Not at all. It is all in the eyebrows, people. That man could stay silent all night, but you’d know what he was thinking by his eyebrows.

Jerrell. Tim is dishing harsh tonight. He’s “intrigued”, which means he thinks it is weird

Leanne. Tim loves the exo-skeleton idea.

Kenley is making a Queen Victoria dress on steroids. Kenley is not taking Tim’s advice that the dress will be a garish costume. Kenley is wrong to defy the Tim.

Terri Is taking this as literal as possible. Tim can feel the tension. Crap, my sister who lives in NY can probably feel the tension.

The next morning. (Think Wesley and Daniel did it last night??)

Work room is a disaster area. You know I HATE it when there are this many designers to follow. It’s chaos and nothing great happens. They don’t have enough time to focus on the small, funny things that go on. So Terri is pissed, which is the main focus. Terri is always pissed. Move on.

Suede said “We are all running around like chickens with their head cut off again.” Wouldn’t you expect him to say, “Suede and his minions are running around like chickens…” instead?

Kenley may be a little overconfident. Her dress is pretty ugly. Fashion forward? Maybe. Ugly? Certainly.

So, we’re leaving for the party, and haven’t seen anything of Joe’s design yet, only a sleeve of Blayne’s design, and not much from Korto.

The outfits will be judged by former design contestants. OK? Kara looks like even more plain that ever. I love that Christian is there, so cute! Allison was one of my favorites, and Robert. Who didn’t just want to pinch Robert’s cheeks?

Next day they have to sew their looks together since a lot of the stuff went out unfinished last night. Keith and Terri are no longer speaking, and Keith has gone for a siesta in the break room.

Blayne’s outfit looks like underwear. Literally. The muslin stuff they used to wear in the olden days, and Stella is pounding! Of course she has found a way to work grommets in to Blayne's underwear fiesta. She has the gift of grommet.

Tim has to come in and wake Keith up. Silly little lazy designer!

RUNWAY!!
(First of all, Jerrell is looking pretty “Leo” himself this evening, and did Kelli make that dress out of scraps left over from Kenley’s project?)
Nina is back! My 5 year old daughter will be so happy.
Blayne looks nervous. I’ve seen his garment. He should be nervous.


Cue the sillhouette:

Blayne: The close up on Michael’s face when he sees this is priceless.

Kenley: So effing ugly. Looks like a fabric topiary. I think I saw that in the Spring Ballard Design catalog.

Terri: Looks like a Bollywood wonder woman

Korto: looks like Aquarius. Not pretty, though.

Joe: A salsa dancer? Doing the walk of shame?

Jerrell: OK, it works better than I thought. I actually like that skirt.

Leanne: Cool. Could she three-pete?

Suede: Light and airy… looks poorly made. The things on the back are weird.

Kenley’s face is priceless when they announce who the four candidates for the win are… she can’t believe she didn’t win.


They start with the four lowest...

Blayne:
Libra. Nina, looks haphazard. Francisco, costumey. Michael, she is pooping fabric. Just odd. Judges think it was a joke.

Terri:
Leo. Michael, voodoo princess in hell. (LOL!) taste flew out the window. Francisco, should have been powerful. Judges hate the outfit, and hate that Terri didn’t work it out with Keith.

Kenley:
Aquarius. Nina, does not agree that this is inspired by zodiac. Michael says this is NOT avant-garde. He has seen it all before. Judges think it was not fitting the brief, and think she is stubborn.

Suede:
Libra. Nina, bordering on expected. Francisco, proportion is not there. Judges think it is boring, tacky, and not avant-garde at all. Michael cracks me up with the cracks on his third person usage. Dodi loves that they openly mock Suede.

Winner is: Jerrell. I am surprised… although it was not like anything I had ever seen before. Tim was right, it is so forward that either it will win or the judges will hate it.
Leanne, Korto, Joe, good work. You are safe.
Kenley is in. Blayne is out. Suede is in. Terri is out.

That leaves 6 designers? WAY too many for this late in the season. Wonder if next week will be the Big Fashion Massacre of 2008?

More bad book titles

I had no idea there were so many book blogs out there. After my last book entry, I went looking for bad book titles. Here a more that I've found:

"How Green were the Nazi's?"

"Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoon Boxes of Daghestan: Magic Symbols in Silk, Stone, Wood and Flesh"

"Proceedings of the Eighteenth International Seaweed Symposium"
This one is $159.00. and amazon.com states: Only 4 left in stock--order soon (lol)

"Fart Proudly"
by Benjamin Franklin, of all people.

"Cooking With Pooh"

"Hey, Remember Fat Glenda?"

You'll note that I posted the links so you don't think I'm lying.

I do have a new book that I'm waiting to treat myself with this weekend when Husband gets home. It is an audio book - "When you are engulfed in flames," by David Sedaris. I prefer his books in audio, as hearing his inflection adds so much to the stories. (One night I was listening to his "Live at Carnegie Hall" on my ipod, and Husband was dying to know what was making me laugh so hard. I almost worship him.) I can also highly recommend his sister, Amy's, book, "Hospitality under the influence." Hilarious! Oh, and "Are you there Vodka, it's me Chelsea" by Chelsea Handler was really funny.

I hate to brag....

...but guess who's child was elected to student council?

(I know, I know... it's elementary school... and there are like 30 kids on student council... but she was SO CUTE when she told me!)