Saturday, August 16, 2008

In search of all things itchy

I finally broke down and visited the Butterfly Pavilion here in Denver. (Westminster, actually.) Thinking I could get over my fear of things-that-fly-at-you for an afternoon that would make the girls happy. DD1 had been there before, but DD2 had not. My niece (the lifeguard) was in town so we’d be dragging her along, and my sister joined us for the adventure.

So, how come no one ever told me that the BUTTERFLY Pavilion was filled with BUGS? Only like 25% of it is butterflies – which was creepy enough with its chrysalis wall (where the chrysalis actually twitch, gahhhhh), and the butterflies? They don’t just fly at you, they like to land on you. There is a sign there that states, “Touching the butterflies shortens their lifespan.” You know what else shortens their lifespan? Landing on me. Seriously, one of these buggers chased me for a good two minutes:
Sure, it looks pretty enough... but it is a savage and tricky tracker.

Plus? I couldn’t even walk on the beautifully landscaped walkways in there because all I could imagine was that a caterpillar was going to drop on my head and my lifeguard niece would have to administer CPR on her aging auntie. (Now, they SAY there are no caterpillars there, but come on! How are they going to control that fully, right? I imagine butterflies are like rabbits in their prolific regards to breeding.) Thank goodness Lifeguard Niece was there to handle the scary stuff, like taking the girls around the footpaths.

However, the name is misleading. What greets you at the door of the Butterfly Pavilion? THIS:
(These millipedes are like 6 inches long.)

…plus a cage of scorpions, beetles, and other crawly nightmares. So, my “oh crap, something is crawling on me” leg slapping began as soon as we walk in to the building. Then we see the “Crawlaseum”, home of many, many, too many spiders, beetles, cockroaches, ants, leaf bugs, and other nasty biting creatures. All of the sudden, I look over, and THIS is what I see…
DD1 with spider all over her. (You’ll have to imagine my stifled scream at this point.) I knew she had held the tarantula before, and that she planned to do it again… but nothing had prepared me for seeing one of the true loves of my life with a gigantic spider in her hands. Why just the other day Mrs. Kravitz had to kill a house spider in our entry way as I freaked out, and it wasn’t as large as a dime. To see my daughter holding this monster almost made my heart stop. I’m sure she was seconds away from being jailed in a giant web. Here are some other sites of the day:

OK, I have to quit blogging about this now. I’m feeling all kinds of imaginary bugs on me and it’s awful. Thus ends my first, and final trip to the Butterfly Pavilion.

In a word? Ick.


Martha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Martha said...

Ack, that was me deleting because of a glaring typo!

Anyways, I guess I'd better cancel my plans to give you that Family Membership for Christmas, eh?

Tell me that you were able to soothe your frazzled nerves with some retail therapy at say Flat Irons after this amazing feat of bravery...

This adventure? Without a doubt it goes under the category of "things we do for our kids..." with the subheading "will they ever appreciate all that we did for them?"

Dodi said...

Oh, this is the really great part... we soothed our nerves by taking Lifeguard Niece to the truly touristy Casa Bonita for dinner! It was an all around adventure filled day for us. Picture me buying two of those awful spinning light up toys for the girl from the wandering salesgirl (because it's authentically mexican, so being innundated with peddlers is part of the ambiance) so they would have something to occupy them while the 3 adults finished their sub-par meals. Just to shut them up, so to speak.

And? I have to say that other than my sister and I paying the bills that day? My niece did all the hard work with the kids. They worship her.

tz said...

yuck... I can't stand that place...I'm shivering right now thinking about it.

Sitting in Silence said...

Wow..I'm impressed..if that was me and I had of turned around and seen that massive spider..I can tell you that there would have been no photo of any child...Just a broken camera... a puddle and a dust storm...from me running out so quick...LOL.

Vanessa said...

Okay, the bugs are SUPER creepy. The butterflies beautiful, but the bugs, ewww.

Dodi said...

Those innocent looking butterflies? They AIM for you... creepy little attack bugs.