In search of all things itchy

I finally broke down and visited the Butterfly Pavilion here in Denver. (Westminster, actually.) Thinking I could get over my fear of things-that-fly-at-you for an afternoon that would make the girls happy. DD1 had been there before, but DD2 had not. My niece (the lifeguard) was in town so we’d be dragging her along, and my sister joined us for the adventure.

So, how come no one ever told me that the BUTTERFLY Pavilion was filled with BUGS? Only like 25% of it is butterflies – which was creepy enough with its chrysalis wall (where the chrysalis actually twitch, gahhhhh), and the butterflies? They don’t just fly at you, they like to land on you. There is a sign there that states, “Touching the butterflies shortens their lifespan.” You know what else shortens their lifespan? Landing on me. Seriously, one of these buggers chased me for a good two minutes:

Sure, it looks pretty enough... but it is a savage and tricky tracker.

Plus? I couldn’t even walk on the beautifully landscaped walkways in there because all I could imagine was that a caterpillar was going to drop on my head and my lifeguard niece would have to administer CPR on her aging auntie. (Now, they SAY there are no caterpillars there, but come on! How are they going to control that fully, right? I imagine butterflies are like rabbits in their prolific regards to breeding.) Thank goodness Lifeguard Niece was there to handle the scary stuff, like taking the girls around the footpaths.

However, the name is misleading. What greets you at the door of the Butterfly Pavilion? THIS:

(These millipedes are like 6 inches long.)

…plus a cage of scorpions, beetles, and other crawly nightmares. So, my “oh crap, something is crawling on me” leg slapping began as soon as we walk in to the building. Then we see the “Crawlaseum”, home of many, many, too many spiders, beetles, cockroaches, ants, leaf bugs, and other nasty biting creatures. All of the sudden, I look over, and THIS is what I see…

DD1 with spider all over her. (You’ll have to imagine my stifled scream at this point.) I knew she had held the tarantula before, and that she planned to do it again… but nothing had prepared me for seeing one of the true loves of my life with a gigantic spider in her hands. Why just the other day Mrs. Kravitz had to kill a house spider in our entry way as I freaked out, and it wasn’t as large as a dime. To see my daughter holding this monster almost made my heart stop. I’m sure she was seconds away from being jailed in a giant web. Here are some other sites of the day:

OK, I have to quit blogging about this now. I’m feeling all kinds of imaginary bugs on me and it’s awful. Thus ends my first, and final trip to the Butterfly Pavilion.

In a word? Ick.