Saturday, November 17, 2012

Shock and Awe...

OK, I'm aghast.



(What I'm not, however, is speechless...)

Found on the site

Hostess Brands is Closed.
We are sorry to announce that Hostess Brands, Inc. has been forced by a Bakers Union strike to shut down all operations and sell all company assets. For more information, go to Thank you for all of your loyalty and support over the years.

If you have eyes and ears you heard the news yesterday.  It's unbelievable.  Hostess?  Gone?  How can that be?  How will life as we know it play on?  To you it might just be snack food - an unhealthy harbinger of obesity and childhood cavities.  But I was a child of the 70's.  I hit the age of 5 in 1970, and never looked back.  Twinkies?  Yes please!  Hostess Ding Dongs?  Those yummy chocolate cream filled treats that were individually wrapped in aluminum foil?  Don't mind if I do!  Sno Balls!  Come on - SNO BALLS?  Those pink, furry looking marshmallow covered snack cakes?  Say it isn't so!  Childhood without tasting a bright pink Sno Ball?  (And spitting it back out, because ewww!)


One simply does not "grow up" without Hostess. 

Think about it.  Fruit pies?  What was a slumber party in the late 1970's without hostess fruit pies? For goodness sake, I think I ate Hostess Cinnamon Rolls three times a week in high school for lunch. (They were sold in the cafeteria line. Heck, in the winter time they'd even warm them up for you.  YUM!)  And how does a large family even BEGIN a long road trip without packages of Donettes flying around the car?  (I preferred the waxy chocolate, but there were also powdered sugar and plain if you liked.)

Possibly the worst tragedy of this entire event?  The crippling fact that may bring this country to it's knees?

Next week is Thanksgiving. 

And what do you do the day after Thanksgiving??

You eat a turkey sandwich for lunch!  Leftover white meat, mayo or Miracle Whip (depending on where you grew up and how insane your parents were for thinking that Miracle Whip wasn't the ONLY choice to be made here), maybe you slap on some of the leftover cranberry sauce... and you make the sandwich on WONDER BREAD.  It is the only time of year we buy the soft white bread that reminds us so very much of our childhood.  Wonder Bread is the bread that pops in to your mind when someone references "White Bread", right?  Soft, squishy, bland, perfect white bread.  And I cannot fathom a day after Thanksgiving turkey sandwich without it. 

Guess what Hostess owned?  That's right kids... Wonder Bread.

This?  Combine this with the fact that war is encompassing our world, global warming, natural disasters at every turn, erotica (lady porn) ended up on our National Best Seller list, the Kardashians are more successful than ever, and Gangnam Style has been unleashed.

People, how do we trust our future to people who will never have been exposed to Twinkies? Never tasted a Ho-Ho? Won't recognize the iconic loops of white frosting on a Hostess Cup Cake?

The only conclusion we can reach from all of this?
The Mayans may have known what they were talking about.
 I expect Zombies any day now.
Zombies who would rather eat brains than day-after-Thanksgiving-turkey-sandwich on wheat bread.


1 comment:

tz said...

you are so awesome!