Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I lead a small life...

In the movie You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly starts one of her monologues with "I lead a small life..." I guess that phrase would hit the nail on the head in describing me. I lead a small life, but it's not an unimportant life. I suppose I'm a medium sized fish in a very small pond. I don't know a lot of people - certainly not nearly as many as my husband knows. But, I do feel like those that I do know I have an impact and importance in their lives.

I don't literally have a small life. I live in a large city, in the suburbs. I come from a large family, and know lots of people. (Though, not nearly as many as my husband!) I have several good friends, a handful of very good friends, and two or three very dear friends. My friends have been there for me, and I try to be there for them. I am very important to my husband and children. I know their lives would be so much darker without me. It isn't that I don't feel loved or that I don't have a lot of people that I care about. (My dogs also worship the ground I walk on, literally - they are my posse.)

I suppose I feel like I lead a small life because I haven't had a big effect on the world. I'm not famous, I haven't discovered or invented anything, I'm not politically active, I haven't changed the world. After I die only those I was close to will be affected. The world won't feel my loss, it will be like I was never here in many ways. But, I'm OK with that. I'd rather be who I am than a celebrity that the pap's never leave alone or someone who's personal life is very public. GIGANTIC HYPOCRITE!!! Yes. I'm a hypocrite. I am addicted to celebrity gossip (my favorites are laineygossip.com and gofugyourself.com), but would HATE to have that sort of interest generated about my own life. Maybe this is why I don't strive for success?

My friend, JoAnne, wants us to write a book. About housewives in situations, comedy. Kids, husbands, neighbors, all very intermingeld and funny.

Problem with this plan? I can't write. Not very well anyway. I guess one of the reasons I need to blog is (aside from hoping that someday I'll share this blog with my kids) that I need to write. Except for shopping lists, to do lists, and notes to the teacher there isn't a lot of writing going on in my life. Emails to people are about as involved as I get, other than the annual christmas letter. (Which, sometimes, is very well written. Sometimes not so much.)

Another problem with this plan? What if it's successful? Would I want my world to get even a little bit bigger?

No comments: