My sister is flying out from NY next week and we'll be meeting with other siblings at Dad's house to pack up mom's stuff. It took my dad a while to be ready - but I think this is good for him. He told me, "I'd like to have a closet!" (He had 1/2 the closet in their bedroom for his entire life no matter which house it was they lived in. As we kids moved out, mom moved in to our closets... but never relinquished her 1/2 to Dad!)
I think he's ready for some changes now, and I can hardly wait for him to be ready to look at some senior communities where he can be around people more his age. There are so many places, and they're so different from each other. You have full service places where he can go downstairs to have his meals in a large dining room, to condos in places where lots of seniors live. Something for everyone, and I think he'll like looking.
At the same time, it's surreal. The year mark is coming up, which is unbelievable. How could she have been gone that long?
Maybe it won't be so hard to visit him at the house if some of her things are gone? Her pile of books she was reading is still on the lamp table in the family room, and there a vignettes of her like that everywhere. If you open the coat closet, her coats are there along with her purse. Her purse - just as she left it. I'll bet there are even still a few dollars in her wallet and her lipstick is still in there. Her drivers license and stray receipts... Kleenex and pens.
Next week will be bittersweet at best. Dad is ready for a closet, so we'll get it done. At least we'll be able to put that package of Kleenex in her purse to good use. Imagine that - she's still finding ways of taking care of us.
5 comments:
Awwwwwww Dodi...It's such a hard time. I did this with my Grandfather when my grandmother passed away. We found beautiful memories in her draws but it was still really hard.
I'll be thinking of you xoxox
I bet you will be amazed at the things you find. When my mom died and I was going through her things (my brother was "too busy" to be bothered)..I found some wonderful momentos.
The hardest part of the day for me was the bathroom. All of her stuff was exactly as she had left it and I kept thinking she would walk in and yell at me for touching her makeup, like she did when I was a kid:)Though while she was "yelling" at me, she was telling me I was too pretty to cover up my face..blah, blah blah...a mothers love.
Love and our thoughts and hugs with you next week.....
Hard to believe that it has been a year... I hope you remember all the happy times when you are going through things with your Dad.
I'm sure it will be both difficult and joyful to go through her things.
Here's to the joyful part!
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