So, I'm helping out in kindergarten last Thursday, and I'm working on Antonyms with the kids. (That's Opposite words for those of you too far out of elementary school - which is the only place you will ever hear about them.)
A little boy turns to me and asks, "Have you mated?"
My jaw hit the floor.
Me: "I'm sorry, have I what?"
him: "You know, MATED?" (This time louder - because I'm obviously deaf.)
Me: "Ummmm, I heard what you said... but I'm still not understanding what you are asking me. What does that word mean?"
him: (shrugs his shoulders)
Little girl next to him: "You know, do you have a HUSBAND?" (delivered in a tone that infers I'm somewhat of an idiot.)
Me: (mortified) "Oh. Yes. Yes, I do. I have, indeed, mated."
(OK, admit it - you went there in your head too!)