Tuesday, April 1, 2008

My Husband is One in a Thousand!

I think he's 1 in a million... but I can't actually prove that to y'all. I do, however, now have medical proof that he is One in One Thousand.

My DARLING husband had a vasectomy 4 years ago. 3 weeks ago I found out - the hard way - that it had failed. See, I've been having problems with an ovarian cyst for a while now, and was in for another u/s on it when the doctor asked me when the date of my last period was.

Me: Ummm, wow - I guess it was the first week in January.
Dr.: Have you taken a pregnancy test?
Me: No. Why would I?
Dr.: Because you missed your period, and you are having all the classic symptoms of pregnancy?
Me: Huh? No. My husband had a vasectomy 3 or 4 years ago. Besides, I'm not pregnant. I'd know if I was pregnant. I'm 43 years old, and I am NOT pregnant. My hormones are off because of the cyst. I couldn't be more sure that I'm not pregnant.
Dr.: OK, let's take a look.

Dr. starts the u/s, and lo and behold, see's an empty sac inside my uterus. (It was a blighted ovum... which is an egg that has been fertilized but fails to develop.) When I saw the empty sac I just looked at my dr. and was like, "If you tell me I'm pregnant I'm going to kick you." Dr. moves to the side away from my feet and tells me, "Well, now wait a second. I do see a sac, but it is empty. I don't see a baby, and I don't see a heartbeat which we would by now if your last period was beginning of January. We'll do some tests to see what is going on, but I'd say there is only a very very slight chance that you have a baby in there."

I did urine test in the office, and there were the results. Pregnant. I started to cry. Not that we wouldn't have gotten used to the idea... but you know how it is - we resigned ourselves to no more babies 4 years ago. Even if Dr. is sure there is nothing there... Oh My God. Pregnant? How?

I held myself together pretty well until I get out to my car, at which point I begin to hyperventilate and must find a friend to vent this out too. Mrs. Nielson wins the friendship lottery that day as I whip out my cell phone and start looking through my contacts, and she talks me through the initial shock enough so I can drive over and get my first round of blood tests done. (Note: All follow up blood tests showed falling hcg levels, confirming no baby actually developing.) When I got home my husband asks how my appt. was. "Do you want the bad news about ME? Or the bad news about YOU???" is my response. After I told him the news my husband was all, "Well, I guess that explains why you've been sleeping for a month." (He did also feel bad that he seems to have superhuman sperm mobility... but that might be another blog.) Ahh, yes. I have been awfully tired, and my boobs hurt, and I've been really bitchy and grouchy and "off". I cannot believe that neither of us thought I was pregnant, it just wasn't even something that was on our radar. I had already decided that I would just let the miscarriage happen naturally - since there was no emotional pain this time it would be just physical and although I knew it would be uncomfortable I thought "I can deal with that."
Ummm, yea. No.
As soon as the "morning sickness" (read: afternoon sickness which was bizarrely between 2 and 3:30 each day) kicked in the next week I was done. DONE. How did my body NOT realize that it wasn't really pregnant? I'm like some sort of fertility goddess at this point... and I really have no idea of how long this would have gone on - because when the doctor happened to mention that it tends to be more painful and there tends to be a lot bigger blood loss the longer your body goes without miscarrying, I basically said, "Sign me up. And, while I'm there you might as well tie my tubes."

So on March 27th I had a little surgery. Dr. also removed my ovarian cyst - which was actually big enough that he thought he might have to go in eventually and get it... so he saved me another trip to the hospital.

Now I just have a couple blood tests and some basic follow-up on my 4 little incisions and it's done.

Oh, and Husband MAY have to get his little procedure done again just for good measure. I'm not sure just having my tubes tied will hold back his Super Swimmers for long! (Besides, he might need a little bit of pain for my trouble?)

And? I have discovered that Vicodan is really a wonderful invention.


Sitting in Silence said...

Oh Dodi...

You have been through the wringer and back again...

What a shock....you poor guys.....

Remember you may feel really down in a few days when the P/Hormones take a massive dive...

Just know that we are here for you....

Thinking of you both x

Mrs. Nielson said...

While relieved to hear "the rest of the story"....I'm still so sorry you had to go through all this. But would you please tell "Big Jim", isn't it enough he's the best poker player in the 'hood, does he need to have the strongest, bravest and most persistent "swimmers" on the block? Sheesh...or at least, have him start buying some lottery tickets and have his 1 in a million powers start to pay off in a less stressful manner!

Sitting in Silence said...

What you guys play poker as well.....

I ask you...does your hood get any better ?

How ya feeling ? xoxoxoxox

tz said...

Wow, it's still amazing to hear that story....I can't imagine.

Dodi said...

We are actually ok... we laugh a lot about it and it helps. I tease him about his olympic swimmers, and he just smiles.

Except for some pain at the incision sites I'm all good. I still get pretty tired at the end of the day, and my emotions are a little out of whack. (You know, when songs or touching commercials set off the tears? Lot of that!) I did not have milk come in this time like my last miscarraige (which, btw, was horrifying when it happened), so I'm really OK. Like I said, this wasn't the emotional roller coaster my last miscarraige was, and once we were over the shock of the test results and we could laugh about it the only thing bothering me were the actual symptoms and waiting for it to be over.

I'm picking up my new script for prozac this afternoon, and going back on the pill - - for other reasons than b/c obviously - - so I should be feeling pretty centered again soon.

And, yes, there is poker occasionally in our neighborhood. We'd even schedule a regular game if you moved here!

Colleen O said...

Wow! I was wondering where you've been - It's nice that you (well, Jim) has something possitive to associate with all of this...
"Wonder Sperm Powers - Activate!"

I hope your feeling better

"Vern" said...

Hi there! Thanks for visiting my site! This was a great post - having been through two miscarriages and an ovarian cyst, I feel closer to you already. Except I'm pretty sure we don't have any Olympic swimmers in our camp. Sorry, this is a lot for a first meeting.

Dodi said...

Well, welcome Vern! I've been reading your blog for a while... ever since the "baby match" blog from last year.

Probably a lot to READ in a first blog, too!