Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I think I was never was truly sad before

The hardest part of the day right now is when I wake up in the morning. I open my eyes and I cannot believe that the world is still turning. That my daughter will go to school, that people will go to work, and the children and dogs need fed and dance class and soccer practice are still there. That the world didn't stop - if not just for a little while - so I can mourn my mother. I don't want the world to be a normal place right now - how can it be normal? How does it not stop everything when my mom is never coming back?

7 comments:

Martha said...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!!

tz said...

Oh Dodi, I'm so sorry.....

Aimee said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. You have done a great tribute here for her. You and your family are in our hearts and our prayers. We all love you.

ganelle said...

I remember thinking that very thing when #2 was so sick in the hospital. I would be driving to/from the hospital to see him, passing people playing in the park and I would just want to SCREAM at them- "YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW! DON'T YOU GET THAT MY LITTLE BOY MIGHT NOT BE ALIVE TOMORROW???"
So sorry... Please let me know when services will be held.

Sitting in Silence said...

Dodi..

The hardest part about loss is no matter how hard you try to get the world to stop...it wont...

I know...God knows I have tried to make it stop on more then one occassion myself...

Your Mum will forever live on in your heart and those of the hearts she touched.
She will live in your memories and the beutiful ones she created.

But most of all, she will live on in you Dodi. Her sweet caring daughter.....

We are here for you.

Sending you love and hugs...xoxoxox

"Vern" said...

I've had similar feelings standing in line at the grocery store. I had miscarried for the 2nd time, and I had to go get drugs at the store at some ridiculous hour, and I looked around and thought, "These people have no idea how much I'm suffering right now." And then I thought about how many of them might be suffering without ME knowing it, and I felt very disconnected. I've decided that most challenges like this aren't about getting BACK to "normal", it's about creating a new normal. And sometimes that hurts more. So sorry.

Dodi said...

Thank you all so very much.