Thursday, May 1, 2008

My mom always did love a good funeral!

It's true. She did. She was probably quite happy yesterday with the way things turned out. The flowers were beautiful, her coffin was simple and pretty, her kids and grandkids were all looking their best, her husband was in his finest suit, her extended family turned out to say a loving goodbye, the priest did a great job with the mass and blessings, my dad's cousin ("Uncle Phil" who was best man at their wedding) said the homily, my sister put together a great eulogy, the songs were the right songs for my mom, friends turned out for all of her children - even if they had never met my mom, and her grandchildren put together a nice tribute that was presented at the reception. After the short prayer at the cemetery and after we were delivered back to the church, we all decided to go home, change clothes and meet back at my parents house. We had a wonderful time just being together. Except for one sister-in-law (who had been with us 24-7 until that point - when real life needed her for the evening), one brother-in-law (who isn't allowed to travel yet because of his kidney transplant), one nephew-in-law, and the two great grandchildren (who are in GA, and were unable to attend but were there in spirit) my entire immediate family was together and laughing at mom and dad's house and there was a lot of love.

I learned a lot about my family over the past few days. (God, has it only been a few days?) I learned that we do all belong together, the people who have married in to our family are just as much family as those of us born to be together, and we really aren't as dysfunctional as I may have previously thought. We work together pretty well, and we love each other a lot. And most of that is due to my mother... who loved every single one of us without measure.

I think, at the end of the day, my dad thought the funeral day went very well. Bravo, Dad. You made sure it was everything she would have wanted.

13 comments:

tz said...

I think you may have a point...no matter how dysfunctional our families may seem...if they pull together during a crisis, a death, a wedding or a birth it's not as dysfunctional as it seems...

the true-dysfunctionals...fall apart at those things...you and your family seem to be made of hardier stock! And how wonderful to learn a lesson from all of this, to learn that you and your family do belong together and that you are all loved, what a wonderful gift.

hugs!
tracey

Martha said...

Without a doubt, it was a beautiful service...complete with a priest with a delicious sounding accent (is that ok to admit?) and a deacon who forgot to turn off his cell phone (ringing right during the homily...perhaps that was a sign from above? "Ah, yeah God, I'm sort of busy right now, can I call you back?" giggle giggle) and two Lutherans and a Mormon chick in the back saying the extended version of the Lords prayer (we kept going when the rest of you stopped, who knew we prefered the dance mix of that prayer?)

For me, the most beautiful part was watching your family from a distance...as you and your loving husband nestled your adorable daughters between the two of you, holding hands through most of the service. Every so often a little one would turn back and check the rest of us out. Truly precious!

Without a doubt, there was a lot of love in those front pews...dsyfunction and all!

Wishing you all continued love and support...

Mrs. Kravitz said...

It was a great service and beautiful tribute to your mom. I'm glad that I was able to go. I'm with Martha -- I was almost more absorbed watching you and Jim and the kids from behind and seeing your sweet girls turn around to see if it was their neighbor baby that they heard making happy baby noises in the back.

You have a great family -- the grandkid tribute really brought the tears. It's so amazing to see the love and happiness one couple have created in their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I know your mom is looking down on you with pride and love.

Thanks for letting me be a part of this special day. Know that I love you guys and am right here waiting to do what I can to help! Please don't hesitate to ask.

ganelle said...

I wish I had been able to be there, and give the Mormon chicks equal representation with the Lutherans. (I know the Catholics would have out numbered us something fierce, but still...)

There is something to be said for those time when families gather - even in the face of grief. I've always said that laughter through tears is my very favorite.

Here's to you Dodi. And to your mom.

Rumour Miller said...

Oh, I am so sorry Dodi.... I haven't been by and I didn't realize your Mom had passed. Sending you love and hugs...

birdymunch said...

Thnx for that Dodi, because we all know those "spouses" are a needed component for those precious grandchildren. Love you

Dodi said...

For those of you who don't know... "Birdymunch" is one of my sister-in-laws. A much needed spouse indeed!

Dodi said...

TZ - we've decided that our family puts the FUN in Dysfunctional. (I know, it's an old joke... but a good one.)

Martha - someone else told me that the priest's accent reminded them of Martin Short as the wedding planner in "Father of the Bride." I believe Father Pavo (have NO idea how to spell his name) might be polish. An accent never hurts, even if it is an "off limits" accent!

Mrs. Kravitz - thank you! I didn't realize there were happy baby noises from the back of the church. How did I miss that? He brightened my day so very much. I told my family, after seeing my neighbors there, that I can now officially never move - where would I find such wonderful people again?

Ganelle - had you attended the rosary the night before, you might have tipped the LDS scales in your teams favor! There were 10 there that night, as my sister-in-law's sister brought her family.

Rumour - thank you! I hope you are feeling well as it's almost time for your second daughter to meet all of you!! Good luck, and hope you are still comfortable enough to sleep!

"Vern" said...

I know it sounds morbid, but some of my best family times have followed a funeral simply because we are all together and laughing. I totally related to that moment, and am glad for you that in the midst of crisis you were shown that not all is lost.

Dodi said...

thank you vern! The funny thing was, I was thinking the same thing afterwards. My grandma B's "wake" was a pretty fun evening, with lots of laughing and stories. It must be a gift from God that lets us laugh even though we are so very sad.

Kate said...

Dodi - Think you said it best when you said that we learned alot about each other and that we do love each other. The greatest gift I think we could have given Ammie was all of us laughing on the back porch - TOGETHER... Just as she always wanted it! I love you!

Jay said...

Of course, we're as dysfunctional as you previously thought, I mean, we put the "fun" in "dysfunctional", right?

Dodi said...

Jay, We still do that!

Kate, I miss you already.