Friday, September 19, 2008

A new take on mom saying, "Get a JOB!"

We open saying farewell to Terri and Blayne again. FAREWELL. Blayne can go tan and Terri can go do whatever it is Terri does that might bring happiness back in to her life. Bitter much, honey?

Shot of the apartments in the morning. Suede has "low flow" hair.* Leanne cracks a joke about making evening gowns for infants, and Kenley truly does not get why she didn't win with the hideous fabric topiary last week. Really, Kenley?

We all meet again in the runway room, and here comes Heidi! And... Here come the Moms! Jerrell makes a comment about "Clearly these are mothers, but I don't think they're Korto's or mine..." Is that profiling? Is that really where we want to go?

And... out walk the daughters. Apparently these daughters have recently graduated college, moving back home in the process. These moms want their daughters to get a JOB so they can move out of the house. They're not saying it, but I know what is going on. (Hey! Isn't that one mom, Nancy, the mom from Hairspray? The one John Travolta tried to play?)

The designers get 30 minutes to conference with mother and daughter, and $100 to spend at Mood. Joe is going on about how you can't please both the mother and the daughter at the same time, showing how he has never really understood mothers and perhaps will need therapy after he is kicked off of the show. Which I predict will be this week, because either he or Suede need to go soon. Kenley's girl LOVES vintage, and reminds Kenley of Kenley. We can now just call her Kenley Jr. Right out of the gate Jerrell "gets" his girl. It is looking good for both Kenley and Jerrell, but I'm pulling for Jerrell. Leanne gets a teacher. Her mom has a lot of opinions, but should trust Leanne. Mousy is as mousy does, after all. Suede gets a daughter that is a photographer. She needs pants. (I will vouch for this.... you do have to get in some less than flattering positions to get the shot sometimes. She's right, you need pants.) Joe is designing for a girl who will be interviewing for graphic design positions. (Which means she'll end up being a receptionist somewhere for at least two years). He is thinking skirt suit. He is boring.

Off to Mood! Korto picked leather? Joe picks menswear fabric. Suede's print is really pretty cute. Thank you Mood!

Wow, seems like we just got back to the workroom and it's time for the first fitting.

Jerrell's girl seems happy with his ideas. Suede's girl thinks it will be too professional. Joe's girl doesn't like the pinstripe fabric - but her mother loves it. Korto's "mom" doesn't understand the fabric that Korto has chosen. Kenley is nasally voicing her approval of Kenley Jr.'s new outfit. Leanne's duo don't like the outfit at all. Leanne is dismayed, "One sexy teacher dress coming up!"

Suede has now switched gears and is going to do a dress, as it is easier. Bet he'd give his right testicle for Terri's pants pattern right now. Joe is going ultra conservative, which causes Jerrell to mock him mercilessly. "Come on, Joe. You can work on Nancy Reagan tomorrow!"

Early on day two Tim sends in clients for their second fitting. Sans mothers, which pleases all. Joe thinks his client is getting more excited about the outfit - but I know the look on her face. It's not excitement, it's the face you get on Christmas morning as you say loudly, "Are these SOCKS in my stocking???" Not excitement.

OK, lets talk about Suede. That dress is cute - however, that dress is not practical for a photographer. That dress is practical if you are going to be meeting someone from, but unless she's planning on standing still during the entire photo shoot that dress isn't gonna work.

At this point Tim brings in Jeanie from corporate hair and makeup, who will be helping with the total makeover portion of the challenge. Winning look gets a paragraph in Elle magazine.

Tim's Visit! This week I'm going to write what I think Tim wants to say, rather than what he actually says.
"Suede, your pockets are crooked, and does your model have arm deformities we don't know about?"
"Joe? Unless the legal team of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe is looking to hire a graphic designer you are hopelessly off the mark."
"Hi Jerrell. Wanna have dinner?"
"Oh Kenley... that dress again? How about you lose the underskirt this time?"
Joe phones home. This may be a bit of Bravo foreshadowing, remember when the straight guy on Shear Genius waxed on and on about how much he loved and missed his wife? Then he went home that episode? Hmmmmm?
When they get back to the apartments that night the girls verbally stab Suede in the back with dull kitchen knives. Loving it.
Day of the show arrives, and they have one hour to get their girls through hair and makeup, plus get them dressed. An hour? For color, cut, style, makeup, and fitting? Who are they kidding? Unless they're going down the runway in foils it ain't gonna happen. Through the magic of television, though, it only seems to take 5 minutes. It's a miracle! Leanne's dress looks WAY better without a jacket, Suede's jacket is dated, and did Kenley give Jr. a head pet??
Guest judge is Cynthia Rowley!! Love her on Design Star!
WHAT is THAT on Jerrell's head? A feather beret? WTF?


Joe: OMG! He even flipped the collar. BWAHAHAHAHA! Does that jacket look too small?

Leanne: Take the jacket off! Take the stupid, frumpy jacket off! Why doesn't she take that damn jacket off????

Jerrell: Darling! Wish the skirt was a touch longer. Plus? How cute would this be with boots!

Korto: I like it, I don't love it.

Suede: And she could not get the jacket off quickly enough! She was throwing it off on her first step down the runway.

Kenley: It's cute, but I am not feeling the vest. And? Yes! It's a head pet on Jr.!

The judges aren't so brutal this week...
Kenley: Heidi remarks on mini-me, Nina thinks it's cute, Cynthia likes the belt, Michael again remarks about it being the right clothes and the right style and the right girl.
Joe: Cynthia dogs on the suit idea. (Kenley also laughs at Joe on stage. God, she can be a bitch, right?) Nina and Michael think this outfit is a cliche. Nina and Michael are correct.
Korto: Michael said she looks current, Cynthia thinks the jacket is really cool, and Nina loves this whole ensemble.
Leanne: Nina thinks the dress is more charming without the jacket, Michael wants to see more of her cute body (???), and I can't tell if the judges like this look or not.
Jerrell: Heidi loves this look, Cynthia thinks this looks great, as does Nina.
Suede: Cynthia mocks gratuitous jacket idea, Michael thinks he missed the mark, and Nina HAAAAAATES it.

The winner? Jerrell!!

Auffed: Joe. (I knew it!!! BuhBye Big Joe!!!)
*10 points if you catch the reference.


barbiefish said...

Low flow toilet = less erect colored faux hawk than the good swirl you'd get from hair styling with one of those old (efficient) water-hogging loos.

Dodi said...

You? Are almost there!!

Sitting in Silence said...

This show looks like a total blast...I sure hope it makes our TV out here...otherwize you may have to start taping it...LOL...

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